Aussie, Brit, American, Canadians

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by T wrecks, Jan 11, 2008.

  1. T wrecks

    T wrecks Junior Member

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    Aussie, Brit, American, Canadians
    Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
    Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
    Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
    Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

    Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
    Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
    Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
    Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

    Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
    Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
    Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
    Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

    Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
    Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
    Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
    Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.

    Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
    Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
    Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
    Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say

    Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
    Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
    Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
    Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

    Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
    Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
    Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
    Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

    Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
    Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
    Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
    Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

    Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
    Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
    Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited.
    Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

    Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
    Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
    Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
    Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.

    Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious, for which they are eternally embarrased about!!
    Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
    Americans: Think that these people are American!
    Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humour.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2008
  2. 07ROADKING

    07ROADKING Active Member

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    alot of Truth to it good job thanks for the laughs:bigsmiley24::ap
     
  3. T wrecks

    T wrecks Junior Member

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    Ok, nice to see nobody took offence here:cheers:cheers......all in jest. Ok, who's for a beer then???:cheers
     
  4. T wrecks

    T wrecks Junior Member

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    Ok Joe, the beers on me, my place, or yours???:bigsmiley10: