A Blonde's Year in Review January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!! Bottles won't fit in the printer! March Got really excited, finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said '2-4 years!' April Trapped on escalator for hours, the power went out! May Tried to make Kool-Aid. Wrong instructions! 8 cups ofwater won't fit into those little packets. June Tried to go water skiing, couldn't find a lake with a slope. July Lost breast stroke swimming competition, learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms and hands! August Got locked out of my car in rain storm, car swamped because soft-top was open. September Capital ofCalifornia is 'C!' Isn't it? October Hate M&M's! They are so hard to peel. November Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days; Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 pounds! December Picked up the phone to dial 911, no such luck? 'Duh, ' there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!