Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Rubyred, Feb 5, 2011.

  1. Rubyred

    Rubyred Senior Member

    Understanding Engineers One:

    Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
    The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

    Understanding Engineers Two:

    To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

    Understanding Engineers Three:

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
    The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
    He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
    The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
    The group fell silent for a moment.
    The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
    The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
    The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

    Understanding Engineers Four:

    What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
    Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

    Understanding Engineers Five:

    The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

    Understanding Engineers Six:

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

    Understanding Engineers Seven:

    An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket..
    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." The engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
    The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."


    MILADY New Member

  3. HDDon

    HDDon Experienced Member Contributor Retired Moderators

    As an engineer I can relate to most of this. The frog was a little over the top, cool but a little over the top.
  4. Dr. Dolittle

    Dr. Dolittle Experienced Member Contributor Retired Moderators

    My oldest daughter and her boyfriend are seniors at Georgia Tech. I'm forwarding this to them immediately!
  5. airdrie

    airdrie Member

    These are excellent! Good for a morning chuckle.
  6. dbmg

    dbmg Guest

    Thanks for the great joke. Almost spilled my :44: :newsmile100:
  7. gunnut

    gunnut Junior Member

    Nice one,and one of the better ones
  8. drawhog

    drawhog New Member

    Engineers Three The best appeals to my English sense of humour!
  9. R_W_B

    R_W_B Senior Member

    Man I loved everyone of those. I have worked with Civil Engineers for the last 10yrs. (cad draftsman)

    Did you hear the one about the Architect, the Engineer and the Builder.
    The Architect knows a little bit about a whole lot.
    The Engineer knows a whole lot about a little bit.
    The Builder has to work between the two and ends up beings so confused he doesn't know anything.

    Also the one about the College graduate that shows up his first day for work at a big Corporation.
    He arrives early at the back door area and there is nobody there except the warehouse manager.
    The warehouse manager says are you the new guy, the graduate say yes I am.
    The manager says get a broom and start sweeping out the back area, and the graduate says you must mistake me for another hire, I am the college graduate.
    The manager says oh, well I will get someone to show you how to do it.
  10. 2007_harley_man

    2007_harley_man Member