Actual Craigs List Ad

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by glider, Jan 24, 2009.

  1. glider

    glider Veteran Member

    Best Craig's List ad ever!

    Posted to Craig's List Personals:

    To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST
    I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
    I didn't expect you to mess your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
    I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
    I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
    So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!
    - Alex

  2. Lancer

    Lancer Junior Member

    Whoops. never bring a knife to a gun fight. :p
  3. woodman

    woodman Account Removed

    Now that's what I call a well wriiten ad! Gosh the poor mugger we had better help him because it must be societies fault for his stupid actions.:p
  4. STEVE07

    STEVE07 Well-Known Member Staff Member Super Moderators

    Too bad we can't carry here:(
  5. BigDaddyRed

    BigDaddyRed Member

    That was cool
  6. brderj

    brderj Active Member

    I have received a lot of craigs list adds like this, I have debated writing my own, very similar to this one. If I ever do, I will post it here first just for you. lol
  7. Mattman4403

    Mattman4403 Junior Member

    isn't that nice, wants to reimburse the guy for his detergent cost. What a guy.
  8. R. Lewis

    R. Lewis Senior Member Retired Moderators

    Look at this LEGALLY and who is the THIEF per our judicial system !! The one who attempted the hold up or the guy who pulled the gun and then took the cell phone and made a bunch of unauthorized calls,( unlawfull use of personal property) petty theft (took money out of the wallet) destruction of private property ( threw the wallet away) Did he have a R.T.C. permit ????? Actually stated "Sorry I did not kill you ......" ( verbal assault with the intent to bodily harm with a firearm) ...... ASK A LAWYER IF YOU THINK I'M FULL OF IT !!!!!!
  9. Classynomad

    Classynomad Account Removed


    Alex ROCKS!!!

    Dang, Glider, where'd ya find THIS gem? They oughta make one of those "priceless" MasterCard ads out of this!!!

    Okay. I won't get started(anymore than I already am... I'll probably laugh all night, even harder than when I found a taco-truck at lunch hour and my own flatulence woke me up at 3am!!!)

    Happt Motorin'! -F-

    A Friendly Reminder - Harley Davidson Community
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2009
  10. TQuentin1

    TQuentin1 Well-Known Member Staff Member Moderator

    Note: always carry the biggest gun you can conceal!!