A Cowboy named Bud...

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by cedarbrook63, Nov 13, 2009.

  1. cedarbrook63

    cedarbrook63 Junior Member

    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you
    give me a calf?"
    Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo..

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and
    you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ....

    Now give me back my dog.
  2. RetiredJake

    RetiredJake Junior Member

    I think my side hurts :newsmile100: :lolrolling
  3. cityofchampions

    cityofchampions Member

    It would be funnier if it wasn't so true. GOD bless America!
  4. gunnut

    gunnut Junior Member

    :newsmile100:fits Gordon Brown to a "T"
  5. jaceddie

    jaceddie Junior Member

    :newsmile100:politicians are always good for a laugh.
  6. 09StdGlide

    09StdGlide Member

    Gordon Brown has sure taken a lot heat over that condolance note...
  7. Polarbear

    Polarbear Active Member

    Very Funny!
  8. sprinklerfitter669

    sprinklerfitter669 Junior Member

    NOw that is a good one !!!!
  9. Adamal47

    Adamal47 Active Member

    why does he have a blackberry and a palm pilot? Seems like overkill seeing as they both do the same thing...oh wait you said he worked for the government? yea that explains it. wasteful spending